So, today is my first blog. Fun stuff. Today I actually had a day off of work where they didn't try to call me in. It was nice to have the quiet. Jason took me to my mom and dad's this morning at 7:30. I had to print off some paperwork to see about getting some financial assistance to pay for the recent ER visit I had to make this past Saturday for my deteriorating gall bladder. Mailing it all in the morning and crossing my fingers. The last thing I need is even more medical debt.
Got to the house around 7:30 this morning. After Jason left for work, I visited with my mom for a few, then we both decided to get a little extra sleep. Fastforward to 10:30 a.m. Awoke from my nap to Piper (1 year old white boxer) poking her nose in my face. She gets so impatient sometimes! Rode with mom to Edwardsburg to pick up Laddie's (7ish year old Sheltie) derma 3 pills. So of course the vet gave her the wrong pills. Great way to start the day. Arrived back at the house, helped dad on the internet, downloaded some more Christmas music (I've become a Christmas music junkie this year), and eventually, shared some spaghetti-o's with my mom. Dad goes to work during the week shortly after 3 pm, then mom and I are left to our own devices. Watched two episodes of Roseanne as I finished getting my paperwork in order. After her last dog for the day went home, we ran some errands. Drove to the credit union so I could get a printout of my checking account statement, another 2$ gone, went to Martin's so I could buy everything I need to bake sugar cookies this Friday, went to Walgreens and purchased hairdye and other various necessities, then went back to the house to sit around until Jason picked me up after work. Hung out with mom for a short time, then decided to have dinner at Wings Etc. in Niles on our way home. It was much better than the last time I ate there. Made a mental note to take a norco when I got home because of the greasy, spicy, fatty foods I ate for dinner. Got home, Jason went to sleep, and I proceeded to watch last night's Craig Ferguson and wrap Christmas presents.
Ordered two books, one is in the mail, and one went directly to my kindle, on starting up my event planning business. Definitely a couple of must haves, and can be written off for taxes. Now it's 2 a.m. and I am heading to bed. I know this particular blog entry is pretty mundane and boring. I promise they will get better. I'm hoping in the future this will be a place where I share my thoughts, feelings, dreams, fears, etc....on anything and everything. Right now I can say my major long term goals are: Get the business running successfully, get my debt paid off, find a house with Jason, and HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY,and hopefully sooner than later, start the permanent life with Jason that we talk about from time to time.
I know I'm ready. I hope he is too. Only time will tell I guess. We've been together 1 year and 2 months now. Who knows how much longer time will have to tell. Not that I am complaining. I love Jason, with all of my heart, and I love the state of our relationship. I look forward to seeing how it all progresses in the future. Maybe if I become less of what I believe a burden to be, he'll feel we're more stable. I work my hardest every day to be the best girlfriend potential life partner that I can be..and I hope my progress is being noticed. Honestly, as long as it is with Jason, I don't care what the future holds for us or when, I just care that the future happens for us, together. I love this man....with every single beat of my heart. I can honestly and truthfully say I've never loved any male the way I love Jason Barden. I've never felt this way with anyone else, ever.
Usually a year into a relationship either I or the guy starts getting bored. Usually the guy first. Thats why I have few stories of breakups that don't end with me being cheated on. I didn't always have proof, but the evidence was sure there. I always feel that, if I have any doubt, then that relationship does not need to continue. Why waste time on someone that you cannot trust with every fiber of your being? I've never once ever had a second thought, or any thought for that matter, that I cannot trust Jason. He's never given me reason, and I doubt ever will. I, of course, return that trust wholeheartedly. I would never in my wildest dreams ever think of straying from him. Not for one split second. I'm 30. I am attractive, but not overly so.. At my age and my physical/emotional/mental state, dating is becoming more and more difficult. So if you have a wonderful, sure thing, why screw it up with the uncertainty of what you could encounter next time around. I'm too old for the dating scene, I'm not very good in it to begin with. I am at that age and mentality, I have the best thing I've ever had, there's no reason I need to give that up on a lifetime of maybes. I am all for sticking with a sure thing, the greatest man I've ever known. I'll stay by his side for as long as he wants me to be, which I am truly hoping is forever. I can definitely see a forever with Jason Barden. And I look forward to it.
On that note, I have a long day of cleaning then going to work from 2-10. So I best be getting some shut eye. Night all.
